With being around boys no matter where I go 24/7, of course, I’m going to mention them a lot. I would used to have “friends” who got annoyed with me talking about “boys” so I said, Screw That, it’s not like those former friends (yep, I’m no longer friends with them) ever talked about anything interesting and all that has been happening in my life are meeting interesting male characters so naturally most of my stories are going to revolve around boys. A real friend puts up with talking about stuff no matter how much someone talks about something, because she knows if she had something of the same things she’d want to talk about, she’d want people to listen to her, too. A friendship is a two way street. I’m surrounded by males at my apartment and at work, yet can’t seem to find one suitable one to date. Give me a break, I’m lonely and haven’t had a genuine boyfriend since 2007, or one could say EVER. All the whole whopping three people I’ve dated were never anyone I had genuine feelings for. I tried to settle because I seem to never get who I want with all the characteristics I’m looking for. I think I may have finally found a break through though, but I’m not going to get my hopes up.
Many of my friends tell me that I should date older guys. Unfortunately, with my luck, or lack there of, I’ve met mainly disrespectful older guys. I haven’t met one single good older guy that deserves the time of day from me which are older and the ones that are in fact nice which are older, I feel definitely way too old for me. There is a line drawn with age, though. The younger ones have been more respectful to me, even if it may not have worked out with them. When it didn’t work out with them, they didn’t harass me all year long like the older men did to me since they can’t take “no” for an answer.
Let me paint out my life for you:
I have been stalked and harassed by a 60-year-old man who really should know better how to behave when someone is not interested in him. He thought he could pester me all year long (actually for nearly two years, finally just left me alone this past year when I told him straight up once and for all: why does he act like he has a chance with me when he never had a chance to begin with and who does he think he is thinking he can say all those disrespectful things about me when I’ve been nothing but nice to this insane nutcase?)
It was different with me and B. B flat out said he was interested in me at one point, led me on for a while, and never saw me again since January after we talked about everything which I think isn’t fair and I have the right to act the way I do with B when I never wanted our friendship to end, plus he’s way closer to my age than that 60-year-old and he acts much more mature than that 60-year-old. Where does this 60-year-old get off in thinking he can creep me like that?
The 60-year-old thinks I would cave to be with him if he pesters me enough. People think I pester them? Try dealing with an insane nutcase who would mass text on top of mass e-mail me his undying “love” for me after only meeting me for THREE DAYS of his life for the next two years all day every day (this is no exaggeration). AND when I was around him at a public place, he would try to sneak pictures of me behind my back doing creepy crap like that. I found out he even framed my picture I never gave him permission to have on his bedroom WALL. That is not endearing, that is just psycho, especially when he knows I hate his guts. It could be endearing if people return their feelings to each other.
Yes, you read that right: within DAYS this man was obsessed with me. It has taken me months to get comfortable with someone before I revealed anything about liking anyone and depending on the situation, it could be weeks, but it’s not like I was confessing my undying love though, I was simply saying I liked them and not being creepy.
Whenever I was friends with older men, and I’d introduce them to Rachel, they would always hit on her and she’d always end up going on dates with them behind my back. I may not have had feelings for all the men she met through me, but it got really annoying that not one guy I introduced her to wouldn’t go after her, including my ex who I have forgiven for that.
I keep having these nightmares that if I invited Rachel to my pretend future wedding, she’d be sneaking around my back with my fiance on my wedding day and they’d never tell me. I shouldn’t have nightmares like that to begin with. Real friends should make me feel safe and be able to trust them. I don’t know why I stayed friends with her for so long. I can’t have a relationship when she always gets jealous whenever a guy is interested in me and not her so she tries to make it into a competition. She has her own guys who are out of my league. I don’t know why she insisted to go after the men that I met. I wonder how she would feel if I did that to her, but she knew like I said, I never had a chance with any of her male friends to do her the same way and I’m not a spiteful person to begin with because it only makes me feel like crap more. Usually if people keep people doing wrong like that for no reason, one of these days they’ll get a dose of their own medicine if they haven’t already.
I finally got excited when I met someone my age for once, 27-years-old. We shall call him “Chad” in this story. He wasn’t the conventional type, but I’m not superficial and I don’t write people off even if I may have a preference in looks. I didn’t like him as much as he liked me, and actually wasn’t attracted to him at all. The only reason I gave him a chance, was to see if I could actually tolerate someone my age. Unfortunately, no. Then, when he wouldn’t want to hang out as friends unless he was getting action from me, I said a big fat: GET BENT and gave him nothing! It’s not like this guy looked like *insert hot celebrity name here* so why did he think he could value me for only one thing? Are you serious? Like I’ll put up with that from an ugly guy, not that I would put up with this from a pretty boy, either. He said his intentions were “good,” but it really doesn’t seem like it when he wouldn’t stay to hang out as just platonic friends when I wouldn’t give him what he wanted at all.
When I was 22-years-old, a 29-year-old man, Josh started talking to me. Being young at the time, I was excited that an older man was talking to me since friends always found that “hot” when an older person would talk to them. I thought he would be more settled, too. I was appalled and disgusted for the next five years he would say very disrespectful things about me to anyone who would listen and his psycho ex-girlfriend who can’t take a hint when to show some self respect in not going after a person and had her start fights with me when I haven’t even done anything because last time I checked, they were broken up when he was talking to me, but I still got harassed and stalked by a psycho ex girlfriend anyway as though he was cheating with me. Who does he think he can judge when he’s the most unfaithful piece of shit I’ve ever met? I expected this kind of drama from people younger than me, but the people who seem to bring the most drama into my life are the older men who don’t deserve the time of day from me in the first place. Once I know an old flame is with a new person, I don’t bother to talk to them anymore, much less the new person. I wish more girls would behave like me after a relationship ends: Get Lost and not insert themselves into my relationship. I didn’t know these women and had no obligations to them for “sloppy seconds.” Someone’s always going to be someone else’s “sloppy seconds” whether you know them or not.