Not Fate

Not that my life could get any worse, but yesterday, when I was by myself, I cursed God for about half an hour saying He doesn’t exist and screw HIM.  If He truly did exist, He wouldn’t bless people who don’t deserve to be blessed and He wouldn’t allow good people who have worked hard all their lives to suffer alone.  It should be the other way around if God really did exist.  It really did feel good.  I try to be open thinking there is some type of God/faith out there, but every time I have prayed, especially really hard, my prayers have never been answered.  There has only been one time where things went effortlessly my way without a peep [ONE out of how many things I have wished for], but everything else, I’ve had to work ten times ten times to get things to be the way I want, and it’s still not the way I want.  Just when I get my life back on track, something bad always happens a month or two later.  It’s an endless roller coaster and I can rarely relax.

God did not help me get through my battles. I and my support did.  MY MOTIVATION DID.  HE did nothing for me.  I will [I don’t know what I will do] if I become homeless after all that I have accomplished with my life and I’m making sure I never have to go that path.

People and friends always tell me, “No one else I know has your kahunas to do what you do in your situations.  Honestly, we’d give up if it was us.”

Whenever a friend of mine who is into God tries to sit with me saying He has a plan for me, I stay quiet and listen.  What is His plan for me – to work $9 / hr for the rest of my life?  A co-worker I am on good terms with is in her sixties and she said she was working at $8.50 for three years.  She should be retired in her 60s.  Is that going to be me, too?  Is that my path?

As soon as I got settled into this new job, that one girl with the door drama just came at me out of nowhere: like I say — things always come up as SOON as I get comfortable.  This time, I handled it much better than my previous jobs.  I reported her and she got a good scare to not start crap with people at work.  She avoids me now and my job rocks!  My Team Lead and boss all support me in this.  I did right in not saying something directly to her and reported her instead.

The other day, she whispered under her breath, “Don’t act like I gotta hold open the door for you now.”  I was walking behind her to get in.  I had my card ready, never asked her to hold the door for me.

I said to myself, “Okay, bish.  You asked for it.  Wanna have some smart alec comment to say every time you see me?  I’ll report you for harassment.  It’s not even that serious.  I’m not the door keeper.”  I wish I could have seen her face when the boss talked to her the next morning.  I saw her cussing on her phone in the parking lot – how unprofessional.  She brought it upon herself.

The Team Lead said, “Boss talked to her and she won’t harass you no more.”

Thank goodness finally some justice around here.

I think that girl is scared of me now — good — she should be.  She messed with the wrong person and should have minded her own business in the first place.  I don’t even know her name and that was the first time I ever saw her come at me out of nowhere that I noticed her, LOL.

Article: Shocked

I recently saw a Yahoo! article where a father killed a 17-year-old boy who was hiding under a father’s 16-year-old daughter’s bed all because the daughter lied – the boy is dead.  Now an unnecessary tragedy has happened and a father may do some jail time all because he was wanting to protect his daughter.

Some kids these days are very disrespectful, even some adults, too.  Were they not raised to be a decent human being? I wonder.  I thought it was common sense.  I shake my head at the way people are becoming these days, even on the Internet.  More and more children are given access to Internet now than ever before and trolling sites that they shouldn’t be on in the first place.

What happened to some of today’s children?  I saw another video a 13-year-old girl disappeared for three days without notifying her family. She came back wearing a hoe-dress at 13-years-old.

I’m not going to write off all of today’s children.

There was an eight-year-old boy who saved his entire family from a fire and he ended up dying trying to save his uncle.  Big responsibilities for a young boy and it’s unfortunate he didn’t survive.

Still, there’s not enough children like the eight-year-old boy who saved his family from the fire.

More reckless, disrespectful children, parents uploading videos of their five-year-olds cursing on the Internet.  What in the world?!  On vine, I can’t tell you how many kids, ten-year-olds I’ve seen using foul words and language they shouldn’t even know about at that age.

Michael Jackson’s accusations

I agree with the Jury in this case and I’m glad the courts worked in his favor. The only one who was abused all his life was Michael Jackson: being mentally abused by his father and the majority of the world who continuously makes up rumors about him. Why do people believe those rumors? Those rumors are made up by greedy moral-less bastards out for his money.

Why would Michael Jackson want to ruin someone else’s childhood when he never had one of his own?  He set up a foundation for helping children, and now that’s twisted and turned into something it’s not.  Now after his death more secret children, secret wives bullshit are popping up.  People are SICK and I hope they go to where they belong.  I guess they were never taught right from wrong.

I don’t get how these people can feel good about themselves trying to make money off of defaming Michael Jackson.  If I ever run into one of these people I’ll let them know what I think of them.

I really don’t get how people can feel good about themselves knowing where they get their money, how they got it, and sit there take hand-me-downs.  I’m struggling to pay rent each month, people have offered to help and I still don’t take their offers!  I’m more of a I like to earn my things, work hard blood sweat and tears.

Ok.

I just got called a troll and I haven’t even said or done anything.  All I’ve been doing lately is posting my stories and whoever stumbles upon them sees them.  Um, what is “trollish” about someone who’s done nothing but posting her stories and thoughts on her own blogs and minded her own business and has shared the link to whoever was interested in reading more?  Then some REAL troll starts abusing the voting system?  Last time I checked a troll is someone who doesn’t let people speak their minds, insults and bullies people.  I’ve done none of that!  Care to look up the definition of a troll to whoever thinks I’m one! I don’t fit anything about being a troll!  People these days…

The Silent Voter(s)

Instead of leaving a comment on my blog posts, someone has been going through all my posts giving my posts one out of five stars.  I’m pretty sure my introduction to this site said my site will not be for everyone and I’m not going to waste my time proving myself to people who don’t like my site.  I’m by no means the best writer on the block but whoever is voting one out of five stars on my stories can get off my page.  I dare that silent troll to comment.  Someone is click-happy around here.  Yes, mysterious voter I just called you out!  I know I can still need improvement on my writings, but I’m pretty sure I’m not a one out of five stars and I’m quite sure whoever this silent voter is can’t even write stories period.

Doubts #blog

If it’s one thing I hate, it’s people telling me I can’t do something: like saying I can’t publish a #1 best seller because I don’t have the “credentials” like some numbers have to “verify” me.  Have people ever heard of the saying, sometimes the undiscovered are better than the brand names, they just don’t get the credits they deserve because it’s a dog eat dog world?  Some of the things that ARE number one out there already are pure ratchetry.  They got lucky they just knew someone in the marketing industry.  Justin Bieber name a bell to some people who complain about him all the time wondering how he got so known?  Usher discovered him.  “Luck.”  I used to look up to Justin in awe of his accomplishments at such a young age, and now he better shape up if he still wants Selena to stay in his life.  Now I’m tired of his ways.

Just because a person telling others they can’t write a best seller can’t write, doesn’t mean I can’t.  I’ll say fucking watch me because when I’m finished with my first novel and if I promote it right, it WILL be a best seller, at least in my town will be.  No one from my town does this kind of thing.  My town is a boring town.  Nothing exciting like my book has happened here in ever besides Rudy which was so long ago, so my book will give my town a wake up call.

With the extra time that I spend perfecting it, and for the cause it is for, and when I’m telling more and more people about it who are very anxious to read it, some people will eat their words.  Just because they don’t have the drive to do something like this, doesn’t mean other people don’t have the drive.

Animal Cruelty: My Thoughts, R.I.P. Puppy Rocko #blog #endanimalabuse

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/cop-arrested-puppys-death-n46061

Why on earth did this douche bag think it would be a great idea to kill that puppy for peeing on the carpet all the time?  He could have just returned the animal to the animal shelter if he couldn’t handle the pet peeing everywhere all the time — any SANE person would do.  People who kill for dumb stupid reasons, then send the picture in a text deserve a special place in Hell.  And then the idiot was released after some days?  I hope someone will choke and strangle this officer in the same fashion he did that puppy would be a great justice for the little poor animal.

Animal shelters more and more these days need to do a thorough background check on who they allow adopt the animals, as well as pet stores.  If pet stores do not do a thorough investigation on who they sell a pet to just to make some money, whoever responsible for allowing these people to adopt/buy the pets should be an accomplice as well for animal abuse and sentenced.  This needs to end once and for all.  If I come across another article of an animal abuser I might just publish a series on these horrible inhuman Neanderthals hoping it will catch some news.  This is the kind of thing that is news worthy, not some 15-year-old having sex with a hot pocket. /face palm.

Redemption

The Quote “Be Who You Are, No one else” – Sometimes I laugh at the way people use this quote to justify their horrible actions to the world saying that’s who they are.  So what they’re saying is that they’re a disrespectful coward, hypocrite, cheater, mistress and they don’t have to change because that’s who they are and if people don’t accept them, they’ll find “friends” who will, right?  Uh, yeah, you could work on the way you disrespect society for one, etc.  I could list a million and one things nasty people could change about themselves.  Whenever their “friends” wear their rose-colored glasses saying they don’t need to change a thing, I just roll my eyes.  All the more power if someone knows they’re pretty much a c u next tuesday, at least they know they’re going to Hell and going with full pride instead of seeking redemption.

Fun Fact #7: I hate borrowing $ from people.

Maybe it’s because I’m lucky I don’t have any children to provide for right now, but I hate borrowing money from people.  If you’re on your own though, you have no excuse to borrow money from other people if you have no children.  And then there are people who will take all the money they can get and not pay people back.  If you don’t have the money to buy what you want/need, I’m afraid you’ll have to with do for the time.  That’s what I did.  When I couldn’t pay rent on time because work got called off for two weeks, I bounced my account, didn’t ask for other people to pay my rent.  I lived off of Ramen and cereal I bought from before and stocked so I didn’t starve.  I don’t know how people can feel good about themselves nonchalantly borrowing money from people knowing it would take a while to be paid back.  A family friend offered me $100.  I really didn’t want to take it, but it helped a lot at the time.  As soon as I get my tax refunds I am paying the person back.  Everyone that knows me knows my biggest pet peeve is not wanting to borrow money and if I do I pay them back as soon as possible.

Something that’s always bugged me.

I used to have this one “friend” who would “steal” my friends even though she has her own friends.  I don’t know if she did it unintentionally or what, but either way, my so-called “friends” would forget about me and talk to her more.  On Facebook, I was in a defriending mood.

One guy who keeps in touch with her more than he does me noticed I removed him.  He messaged and added me back after a while joking he was offended I removed him.  Yesterday, he didn’t say happy birthday to me, but he would say happy birthday to her.  I don’t know if I should remove him again.  I thought that would make him get a wake up call to keep in touch with me more, but no.

I don’t know if this would bug anyone else.  Would you get pissed at so-called “friends” who ditch you, will remember the friend you introduced them to birthdays but doesn’t say anything to you on your own?  I don’t get what’s their way of thinking.  Did they forget that they used to talk to me and hang out with me before they met that, bitch?  She’s ruined a lot of friendships for me because most of my guy friends who used to be close with me want to hook up with her after they meet her and they stop talking to me because things get awkward or because they’re just douche bags but they’ll keep in touch with her.

In a way, she did me a favor because I don’t have time for fake friends!  So she can keep those fake friends.  If it weren’t for her, though, I’d still have some of my friends and more people to talk to than I do now.  Then again, I’d rather keep my few real friends that I have than a whole bunch of fake ones any day!