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Fun Fact #6: I’ve never really created one of these, but I thought I should for fun.
*Publish a best seller novel and/or short story collection
*Travel to every place we have ever wanted to go
*Get hired in permanently at a full time job that I like and not settling for jobs I don’t like just to have a job. [That can make someone so miserable if you just stick to a job because you think you can’t find something you like, and I’m not going to be that way]
*Buy a good car that’s going to last me for a long, long, long time
*Get my nice own place with no roommates: doesn’t matter if it’s a house or apartment, as long as I am the only one living there and can have guests over
*Fall ridiculously in love with someone who loves me back equally the same – and we do something about it and not give up on it just because things may seem hopeless at the moment
*Be in a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates me and I appreciate him, not a toxic one
*Hoping to have a real valentine for once, and not just friend valentines
*Have one full year without having to deal with people’s pointless drama that I really couldn’t care less about
My Journey to Something New
I have never been in a true long distance relationship. Michigan to Indiana isn’t too far. I can be in Michigan in an instant. I was just in Kalamazoo not too long ago for a video shoot. I won’t count visiting someone in Michigan years ago, especially since we occasionally visit Michigan here and there. I’m talking states down, states further away. I’ve visited friends whenever they moved to a different state, but we weren’t dating, just friends visiting each other. I haven’t actually ever really wanted a life with someone who lives far away until now. How do people do it? How do they do it? People ask me how I do something like this, that they could never do something like that. I didn’t think I could, either. In fact, whenever I would meet previous Internet friends I still keep in touch with who were interested in me as more, I always said I just only wanted to be friends because I would prefer it if I didn’t do long distance, especially since I am on a budget right now trying to save for a car. With the right person, I can.
For now, all we can be is good friends getting to know each other better each day. I used to think I couldn’t ever feel real ridiculous “like” for someone over the computer I haven’t physically met in person, that they would mainly be Internet friends who have fun talking to each other from time to time, until I started video chatting. I know someone from my high school graduating class and she is in a long distance engagement I think. They’ve been dating for years and are now getting married soon. I’m not that close of friends with her anymore, don’t think I ever was, but her getting engaged to someone in Denver while we are here in Indiana gives me hope for my situation. I wish my interest won’t give up and I think my interest is a little closer [still far, but closer] than Colorado to Indiana. My heart belongs to him down south, a southern boy.
I know these things take time, but I have a good feeling that if we hung out once in person we’d know what we’d ultimately want from each other. I know it’s kind of pointless to make our relationship official right now when we can’t even meet at this point. However, in my heart, I just know. There have been other men to try to talk to me: in my hometown, and in other states that I am not particularly interested in having a relationship with because I am determined to beat all odds this time. I don’t want to give up on this the way I gave up on my last Indiana hope before I climb mountains for my man.
I’m just so afraid you’ll meet someone before both of our schedules are free to see each other. I’m so afraid and I don’t want that to happen because if you meet someone from your hometown, then I can’t talk to you anymore. I know I told you I won’t be talking to anyone else any time soon in that way. I ended things finally with my last Indiana boy and told Charley he can’t keep playing around with me when I’m trying to have a relationship. I won’t ever forget Charley. He was a truly big inspiration in my life working 12 hours a day, going to college and taking care of his two kids at 21-years-old. He also learned the lessons I taught him in life to become a better person. His friends before he met me, I have a feeling didn’t tell him to grow up even though he is 21 with two children. Since he met me, he became more mature. I won’t forget him for that reason that a man from my hometown finally listened to what I was trying to say, it’s just that he has a life with someone else already and Charley needs to stick with it. I’m ready to begin my journey to something new and unknown.
Baby, you don’t even know what you do to me. I keep imagining how much FUN we would have if we were to meet in person with all the things that we have talked about: snowboarding, skiing, surfing, etc. Since you’re by mountains, maybe hiking one day? A picnic in a hidden area in the mountains. If we both get lost hiking we’d have each other, but I hope we won’t get lost, lol.
I’ve really wanted to meet a person I like from in person just like you wanted to as well, but I seriously give up in defeat. Honestly, you think I don’t want to meet someone with an epic story in person? I do. I get it, letting fate deal its hands unexpectedly. Well you were unexpected, too. I have a feeling a person I like I’m going to meet is from online. Whenever I talk with you, I don’t feel like we’re about sex at all, even though you make me wanna show you things on cam I wouldn’t show others. I have real conversations with you because I know you also like me for my personality and not just my looks. Some people I run into only care about how I look and it’s not just about that. I get happy whenever you text me, and then get sad whenever we don’t talk. You light up my life currently, I hope you know. I know we all need our space and don’t need to talk all the time, but since it would be long distance do things change? Sometimes when we don’t talk for a while, I feel like you’re not interested anymore, but then we get to talking again and it goes from there.
I would move for you if it came to that point. I know you’ve stayed at your job longer and I want to get out of Indiana. Never in a million years did I imagine I’d be in your state for anything. I’ve always wanted to move to California or New York and did not have your state in mind at all before I met you.
You must be so wonderful in person to be around, and have a bubbly personality. I hope we shall meet some day soon. Girls are stupid not giving you a chance from what you’ve told me and why. I don’t want you to move to Indiana. I think there’s something in the waters in Indiana that makes most people act shitty and you might turn into a person I won’t like in the end if you were the one to move to where I am. I’m shocked I’m still a decent person considering all the morons here I’ve had to deal with daily you’d think they’d turn me into a moron. There are very few decent people here: men and women alike. I was discussing this with a friend today that most women where we are don’t give two shits if a guy is married, taken or has a family, they’ll get the D anywhere they can and only have concerns for their needs. I mean, after all, I’m looking for someone in a different state and don’t want to go back to square one.
Fun Fact: I still keep in touch with a lot of my co-workers from all the jobs I was at for a while. If I only stayed somewhere for three days I didn’t bother. One of my roommates is someone I volunteered with a few years ago. I have this thing about me where people at work don’t hate me and I can get along with most people. I don’t believe in demanding orders from people, or speaking with authority. You can speak nicely to co-workers and still get things done effectively. My friends joke around with me saying I couldn’t be a supervisor because I’m too nice and people wouldn’t take me seriously because of my kindness. Oh, I can be confrontational when I need to be, but I prefer not to because most battles aren’t worth my time.
There’s always one or two people at every work place who is up to no good but I don’t let them bother me since mostly everyone else gets along with me. So far, I’m liking everyone at my new job because we usually keep to ourselves and just concentrate on completing the tasks and no one bothers anyone. We all have a purpose there, no need to sabotage anyone. I can’t stand whenever a co-worker feels the need to sabotage people like it’s a game at work. People have bills to pay and lives to live. There’s enough bull outside of work that there doesn’t need to be more at work.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone at my new work and just stick to doing my job because you never know who you can trust at work. I have kept in touch with two friends at my first factory job, three friends at my second factory job, and currently, there is this one elder lady I work with I think I can trust.
I don’t like sitting in silence in fear someone will take things out of context and not talk to anyone, but I love that this new job I’m at allows me to solely concentrate on my work and that’s what I want to mainly do.
On break one day, I asked her what she thought about long distance relationships. She told me someone in her family lived where we are and was seeing someone all the way in California and they made it work and are still together in their 70s. If people really want something to work out, I suppose they will make it work no matter what. I like talking to her sometimes, but I still keep a distance, too, keeping my guard up but I don’t think she’s malicious. I gave her a ride home since she’s nearby.