At one point or another spouses, bfs/gfs will get annoyed with each other. When is it a deal breaker, though? If someone is viciously insulting someone they are supposed to protect, to Hell with that person. When they insult you and call you crude horrible names? Some people from my past seem to be delusional if they think I will want to be with them after they insulted me the way they did when I did many things for them at the time I shouldn’t have. They abused their favors with me and I said no more if they are going to act like a dick. It’s like they threw tantrums when they didn’t get what they wanted. They didn’t want to call me a girlfriend, but expected me to do favors like they were a boyfriend. They are sorely mistaken if I will let them walk all over me.
I may forgive for a peace of mind, but I’m not turning backward. If it becomes that toxic, I don’t need that kind of crudeness around me. People used to try to act like I was the psychotic one. They had the nerve to threaten lawyers on me when I wasn’t even doing anything but standing up for myself. And they still think I would want to be friends with someone who took it that far? Luckily no actual lawyers were called, but to Hell with someone who is going to threaten me like that and think I still want to be “friends” with someone after! The only thing crazy about me is how I would forgive someone who did that. I refuse to be with anyone who thinks they can insult me in such a vicious way and then try to make ME out to be the bad guy they are the ones out of their minds.
This is another thing I like about Travis. He never puts me down, encourages me to do things I want to do like encourages me to publish my book. I love him so much like I have never loved someone before. I hope one day we can properly be together and 8 – 16 hours, money, and a difficult schedule to make this work won’t be in the way. I have so much butterflies thinking about him.
I ask myself why am I selling myself short? I’m settling for a manufacturing job when I can do so much more than that. Why? When you take something that first starts off as a hobby to turn it into a full time thing, it may take the fun out of it and I might not enjoy it anymore. With writing stories for example, I’d always have to come up with something every week when currently I just write to release my mind whenever something is bothering me with no deadline. You can never rush great works. I still plan to one day write a best seller, but maybe right now it’s not my calling for that.
At least the manufacturing job I’m at, it’s something I still like to do, so I don’t think I’m exactly settling.
I wanted to try something new than what I have been doing before. Plus, I like this place so it’s not a loss. It sure beats working at a fast food chain I tell you what, and I’ve worked at nearly every possible setting known to find what I can like. I was so miserable working at Subway and Jimmy John’s a few years ago. That was pure misery. I’m not going to be that person who walks into work everyday thinking this is the only place I can find a paycheck even though I don’t like the job. I’m determined to like what I do period so it won’t be a pain in the ass waking up every day.
One of these days it might hit you that you wasted your life at a place you never liked, and it’s too late to start over and you just have to stick to it. Maybe it’s not too late to start over, but I’m not going to put myself in that position and do the best with what I’ve got.
I wouldn’t consider myself the other woman in my Indiana situation. I never did anything with the guy. We just talked as friends, but he knows how much I like him. I have been tempted several times to. I restrained myself because I was unsure if he was still with the woman who he has two children with, whether or not they were just together for the children. When the wife called me, I wonder what she has to say but I wasn’t going to deal with it because I’m into someone else now who is SINGLE for once and with no baggage, other than being long distance. Does she care how broken I feel that I’ll never have that chance with her husband I really like because they already have a life together before they unexpectedly met me? I’m not a shady woman and I actually care if someone is taken.
Or is she worried about her own relationship with him? And why call me? Would you, lady, care if I felt so bad about not being able to be with this guy that I could have done something to myself? I really don’t feel like ending my life over him because I’ve found someone better now, but let’s just say what if I felt that way, would his wife care how much I feel for her husband knowing I can never do anything about it? It’s stupid to end a life over someone. I wouldn’t have felt like ending my life even if I didn’t find someone new to talk to. I know when my time comes, it will happen for me. If I’m not around, I won’t be able to experience it.
There’s 6 billion people in this world my friends keep telling me and I pick myself back up and keep trying when the opportunity presents itself. People often say don’t be a home wrecker. I’m not a home wrecker. I’m as caring as can be. I know the husband wanted to still be friends with me, but with how much I liked him I couldn’t be just friends and can’t really see/talk to him anymore. I liked him because he listened to what I had to say, he grew up when I told him to grow up. He actually apologized to me for being mean to me for saying all those nasty things to me and we ended on good terms, something my so-called best friend of 20+ years didn’t even apologize to me, but a man I can’t be with apologized to me first before my ex best friend did. It’s just that we can’t do anything about liking each other. . .he’s got a life already. And I’m glad I met this new person I’m talking to. If I would have still been stuck on Charley, I would have never tried to get out there and talk to new people again and would have missed out on getting to know this new person I want to talk to now.
Fun Fact #6: I’ve never really created one of these, but I thought I should for fun.
*Publish a best seller novel and/or short story collection
*Travel to every place we have ever wanted to go
*Get hired in permanently at a full time job that I like and not settling for jobs I don’t like just to have a job. [That can make someone so miserable if you just stick to a job because you think you can’t find something you like, and I’m not going to be that way]
*Buy a good car that’s going to last me for a long, long, long time
*Get my nice own place with no roommates: doesn’t matter if it’s a house or apartment, as long as I am the only one living there and can have guests over
*Fall ridiculously in love with someone who loves me back equally the same – and we do something about it and not give up on it just because things may seem hopeless at the moment
*Be in a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates me and I appreciate him, not a toxic one
*Hoping to have a real valentine for once, and not just friend valentines
*Have one full year without having to deal with people’s pointless drama that I really couldn’t care less about
My Journey to Something New
I have never been in a true long distance relationship. Michigan to Indiana isn’t too far. I can be in Michigan in an instant. I was just in Kalamazoo not too long ago for a video shoot. I won’t count visiting someone in Michigan years ago, especially since we occasionally visit Michigan here and there. I’m talking states down, states further away. I’ve visited friends whenever they moved to a different state, but we weren’t dating, just friends visiting each other. I haven’t actually ever really wanted a life with someone who lives far away until now. How do people do it? How do they do it? People ask me how I do something like this, that they could never do something like that. I didn’t think I could, either. In fact, whenever I would meet previous Internet friends I still keep in touch with who were interested in me as more, I always said I just only wanted to be friends because I would prefer it if I didn’t do long distance, especially since I am on a budget right now trying to save for a car. With the right person, I can.
For now, all we can be is good friends getting to know each other better each day. I used to think I couldn’t ever feel real ridiculous “like” for someone over the computer I haven’t physically met in person, that they would mainly be Internet friends who have fun talking to each other from time to time, until I started video chatting. I know someone from my high school graduating class and she is in a long distance engagement I think. They’ve been dating for years and are now getting married soon. I’m not that close of friends with her anymore, don’t think I ever was, but her getting engaged to someone in Denver while we are here in Indiana gives me hope for my situation. I wish my interest won’t give up and I think my interest is a little closer [still far, but closer] than Colorado to Indiana. My heart belongs to him down south, a southern boy.
I know these things take time, but I have a good feeling that if we hung out once in person we’d know what we’d ultimately want from each other. I know it’s kind of pointless to make our relationship official right now when we can’t even meet at this point. However, in my heart, I just know. There have been other men to try to talk to me: in my hometown, and in other states that I am not particularly interested in having a relationship with because I am determined to beat all odds this time. I don’t want to give up on this the way I gave up on my last Indiana hope before I climb mountains for my man.
I’m just so afraid you’ll meet someone before both of our schedules are free to see each other. I’m so afraid and I don’t want that to happen because if you meet someone from your hometown, then I can’t talk to you anymore. I know I told you I won’t be talking to anyone else any time soon in that way. I ended things finally with my last Indiana boy and told Charley he can’t keep playing around with me when I’m trying to have a relationship. I won’t ever forget Charley. He was a truly big inspiration in my life working 12 hours a day, going to college and taking care of his two kids at 21-years-old. He also learned the lessons I taught him in life to become a better person. His friends before he met me, I have a feeling didn’t tell him to grow up even though he is 21 with two children. Since he met me, he became more mature. I won’t forget him for that reason that a man from my hometown finally listened to what I was trying to say, it’s just that he has a life with someone else already and Charley needs to stick with it. I’m ready to begin my journey to something new and unknown.
Baby, you don’t even know what you do to me. I keep imagining how much FUN we would have if we were to meet in person with all the things that we have talked about: snowboarding, skiing, surfing, etc. Since you’re by mountains, maybe hiking one day? A picnic in a hidden area in the mountains. If we both get lost hiking we’d have each other, but I hope we won’t get lost, lol.
I’ve really wanted to meet a person I like from in person just like you wanted to as well, but I seriously give up in defeat. Honestly, you think I don’t want to meet someone with an epic story in person? I do. I get it, letting fate deal its hands unexpectedly. Well you were unexpected, too. I have a feeling a person I like I’m going to meet is from online. Whenever I talk with you, I don’t feel like we’re about sex at all, even though you make me wanna show you things on cam I wouldn’t show others. I have real conversations with you because I know you also like me for my personality and not just my looks. Some people I run into only care about how I look and it’s not just about that. I get happy whenever you text me, and then get sad whenever we don’t talk. You light up my life currently, I hope you know. I know we all need our space and don’t need to talk all the time, but since it would be long distance do things change? Sometimes when we don’t talk for a while, I feel like you’re not interested anymore, but then we get to talking again and it goes from there.
I would move for you if it came to that point. I know you’ve stayed at your job longer and I want to get out of Indiana. Never in a million years did I imagine I’d be in your state for anything. I’ve always wanted to move to California or New York and did not have your state in mind at all before I met you.
You must be so wonderful in person to be around, and have a bubbly personality. I hope we shall meet some day soon. Girls are stupid not giving you a chance from what you’ve told me and why. I don’t want you to move to Indiana. I think there’s something in the waters in Indiana that makes most people act shitty and you might turn into a person I won’t like in the end if you were the one to move to where I am. I’m shocked I’m still a decent person considering all the morons here I’ve had to deal with daily you’d think they’d turn me into a moron. There are very few decent people here: men and women alike. I was discussing this with a friend today that most women where we are don’t give two shits if a guy is married, taken or has a family, they’ll get the D anywhere they can and only have concerns for their needs. I mean, after all, I’m looking for someone in a different state and don’t want to go back to square one.
I don’t meet a lot of people from Indiana on any social networking sites if I don’t already know them from in person. So it was actually a pleasant surprise when I met one person who lives 40 minutes away and another Indianan who lives 20 minutes away from Indianapolis. I thought I was the only one who got on social networking sites for a minute from here. It’s nice to run into more people from Indiana. I’m feeling left out being the only Indiana person ever that they refer to me as Indiana Girl, Haha. I usually meet a lot of people from California, New York or Canada have been the main places, and then a few states in between.
Have you ever noticed you can tell for certain who is NOT the one for you, but you can never be too sure who IS the one for you?
I’ve known families who have been together for over 30+ years, and gotten divorced later on and I bet they thought they were the ones for each other at the time, but clearly not in the end. I was just discussing this with my friend Doretta this the other day and she’s like yeah, I’ve noticed that. It’s so not fair. It shouldn’t be this hard to find “The One,” oh but it is.
People have their fairy tale ideas of how to deduct “The One,” but at the end of the day, it just depends.
I think with “Carson,” my last in-person attempt before I started talking to people online, while I liked him a lot, I was always questioning if this was the guy or not and was never sure. Sometimes I felt like he was and other times I felt like he wasn’t, especially when he already has two small children with someone else…and I don’t want someone who already has children. I’ve only felt that certain feeling for one other person which was clearly false with my second to last attempt with someone I met in person. I was disappointed because I hardly ever come across someone who gives me these look into the future of what life would be like with Mr. X. I don’t just say every man I meet is The One. I hate people who do that and I think they’re mental for doing so: calling every man they’re ever with The One.
I want to enjoy my potential significant other (whoever that is) and I for a long while before children are in the picture.
When I was “with” someone for five years, when we first met, the attraction was there for the first two years. After three more years “with” this person, I started to get sick of him and wasn’t “feeling it” anymore. I always say that if you lose attraction to someone no matter how long it’s been, that’s not the right person you’re with. You always have to feel it with them no matter how long it’s been and they shouldn’t repulse you in the end.
Fun Fact: I still keep in touch with a lot of my co-workers from all the jobs I was at for a while. If I only stayed somewhere for three days I didn’t bother. One of my roommates is someone I volunteered with a few years ago. I have this thing about me where people at work don’t hate me and I can get along with most people. I don’t believe in demanding orders from people, or speaking with authority. You can speak nicely to co-workers and still get things done effectively. My friends joke around with me saying I couldn’t be a supervisor because I’m too nice and people wouldn’t take me seriously because of my kindness. Oh, I can be confrontational when I need to be, but I prefer not to because most battles aren’t worth my time.
There’s always one or two people at every work place who is up to no good but I don’t let them bother me since mostly everyone else gets along with me. So far, I’m liking everyone at my new job because we usually keep to ourselves and just concentrate on completing the tasks and no one bothers anyone. We all have a purpose there, no need to sabotage anyone. I can’t stand whenever a co-worker feels the need to sabotage people like it’s a game at work. People have bills to pay and lives to live. There’s enough bull outside of work that there doesn’t need to be more at work.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone at my new work and just stick to doing my job because you never know who you can trust at work. I have kept in touch with two friends at my first factory job, three friends at my second factory job, and currently, there is this one elder lady I work with I think I can trust.
I don’t like sitting in silence in fear someone will take things out of context and not talk to anyone, but I love that this new job I’m at allows me to solely concentrate on my work and that’s what I want to mainly do.
On break one day, I asked her what she thought about long distance relationships. She told me someone in her family lived where we are and was seeing someone all the way in California and they made it work and are still together in their 70s. If people really want something to work out, I suppose they will make it work no matter what. I like talking to her sometimes, but I still keep a distance, too, keeping my guard up but I don’t think she’s malicious. I gave her a ride home since she’s nearby.