Whenever the guys at work would ask me if I have a boyfriend and I answer them, no, they’re shocked and ask me why not? I just haven’t found someone who is worth it that would treat me right. I finally find someone who is interested in me back, more importantly, someone who I am interested in as well, someone I can actually be with without issues getting in the way, and the project is over before I know it. I thought it was an indefinite project, I didn’t know it was only for a few weeks otherwise I would have given him my number a few days ago when we first started talking. I thought I would see him this weekend and then I got a call saying they were overstaffed, but would call me back for another project if they have one.
I said to myself if it was meant to be, it would happen so that’s why I didn’t push it as soon as we started talking. That’s been my problem in the past that I always rushed things or took things way too slow. With “Brandon,” it definitely took way too slow for anything to happen at all. Heck, I told the boy after eight months of knowing him I liked him. I waited too long for that one, that was my fault. With “James,” it happened way too fast within a few weeks.
For the two and a half weeks that I was there, I would see this boy loading and unloading boxes. I always thought he looked young, but like I said to myself before, I’m only there for work so it doesn’t matter anyway. I thought he was around 22/23. I was shocked to learn he’s only 20, but he’ll be 21 in a few weeks, basically my brother’s age. He guessed I was 18/19 and I laughed. I always said I would never date someone my brother’s age, that’s just awkward. If they went to the same high school he could have known him. Whenever the men would work with me they would try to fix me up with someone and I said, “No, no, no, I just want to work.”
A few days ago, I worked with a new guy named “Patrick” who has always been around but I’ve never talked to him until yesterday. The whole night he was joking about me liking “Charley.” I said I do think he’s cute but I am only there for once again, work. However, I didn’t mind to flirt a little. I kept asking myself do I like “Charley” for “Charley” or is it just some boy to be interested in? I was bothered at first that he’s only 20, but I decided, who knows, maybe I do need to go just a tad bit younger for a more respectful man since the older ones and the semi younger ones aren’t cutting it. “Charley” seems like the type of guy who would know what he’s got when he has it and doesn’t take it for granted.
“Patrick:” I’ll hook you up with “Charley.”
Me: Please, no.
“Charley” walks by and “Patrick” playfully says to “Charley:” Man she’s been annoying the crap out of me about you all night she’s got a crush on you.
(Did he just call me out like that?)
“Charley” laughs and I told him “Patrick” is the one who has a crush on him and “Charley” answered he probably does, Ha!
“Patrick” did apologize to me he shouldn’t have done that, but I know he only meant well. I did like the guy I just didn’t want him to know especially if he wasn’t interested in me back, which is usually the case.
Later on when “Patrick” went to go somewhere, I pulled “Charley” aside and told him I hope he knows that “Patrick” was just joking about him, I didn’t ask about him all night, etc.
“Charley” says to me: I unfortunately know he was just messing with me and that you’re not interested. Don’t worry. He said he unfortunately knows. That stood out to me, the word unfortunately.
Does that mean he wants me to be interested in him? More importantly, does that mean he is single? He goes to college and works at a factory, when would he have the time for anything else?
The whole night we would glance at each other whenever we would walk by each other.
When “Charley” was standing straight in the fan, I could smell his strong cologne. Oh. My. God. It did smell good, it wasn’t a bad smell, it was just strong. It was so strong that when “Charley” walked away I asked “Jason” the supervisor if he smelled it and he said, “Probably.” I just said, “Oh, I wasn’t bothered by it but it was strong.”
When “Patrick” got back from break, I told him watch me flirt with “Charley” when he comes by. “Patrick” threw this tissue on the ground but missed the trash can just as “Charley” was coming over. I told “Patrick” I wasn’t going to pick up his nasty tissue then “Charley” joked with me asking me if I was calling him nasty.
That’s when I said, “Oh, no. I smelled your cologne earlier.”
“Charley:” It smells good doesn’t it?
Me: Yes, you do smell good.
When “Charley” walked away again “Patrick” mocked me saying, “Your cologne smells good” in my voice. I laughed.
They didn’t want me to quit, but then lay me off anyway because the project is over…What? That’s the only reason I would quit because factory hours are so unstable.
Before I left, I made sure to let “Charley” know that I didn’t care about his age anymore, as long as he is a good guy and is at least 20/21 which he will be turning 21 in a few weeks, that’s okay. I was so sure we would see each other this weekend since he said he works Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then I get a call.
What is the deal? Why is life treating me like shit when I’m finally not letting personal problems interfere? What did I do to deserve this? I ask myself every day. I have no medical conditions but I have the most unstable life when it comes to finding a job and a relationship on top of that. I’m getting sick of this and this is really sending me over the edge. I might speak to a psychiatrist or someone because I can’t take this crap anymore. Not to mention I FINALLY FIND SOMEONE INTERESTED IN ME BACK AND THEN I DON’T SEE HIM ANYMORE! All the more if we ever see each other again, I hope he doesn’t take me for granted.