You know that feeling you get when you think you’ve met The One? I’ve only ever felt that once for someone in my town. I was so sure because usually my Woman’s Intuitions never fail me, I hardly ever used to listen to myself until I finally felt it. I used to give people chances only for them to blow them and waste my time. There were people I have liked who I knew nothing would ever happen with, who were all wrong for me. Then there was one person who could actually do something about liking me and was single, and 15 to 30 minutes away. I thought my luck had finally turned around. We had so much in common, yet were different enough from each other.
Turns out I was wrong. I used to think I was pushing people away for silly deal breakers such as an age gap. Once everyone is a certain age, it doesn’t matter to me. For me, it was the older I dated, the more immature/judgmental they got and I thought people were supposed to grow up at a certain age. So I said to myself, if older adults I meet are going to act immature, I’d rather find a nice young man to have some real fun with. I’m more concerned with a potential spouse respecting me, and I respecting him the same. It is proven, that age is just a number. With each failed attempt with someone, I find myself getting warmer and warmer to the right person for me. I’m starting to not care how we met anymore. If it’s from online and it becomes the best thing I’ve ever had with someone, I’ll be more than happy with that. I was talking with a couple of friends and they noticed something they said, “How come everyone in your town is getting action except for you and your friends?”
I simply reply, “The rest are all settling thinking they can’t do better with what they’ve got. I’m being patient and my time will come. I could easily call some people up right now to get action just the same, but I do not feel a spark with those people and it’s not worth it to me.” Plus, I am not looking for a one night deal type of thing. I’m looking for something meaningful.
All these failed attempts had to happen, to lead me to the right direction. I don’t regret anything now. I used to be so upset when people wasted a lot of my time. I was talking to someone for the whole entire year once, just for him to flake out on me when he got back to town. He was a townie who went to college in another city. I was very upset that he led me on for so long. That doesn’t excuse his hidden secret, which by now he should be open to people more about and not breaking girls hearts’ because he’s too insecure of himself to reveal the real him being afraid of how people would react to it. He should have told me in the beginning instead of wait for when we planned to meet up. Then we would have still been friends. I’m glad things didn’t work out with him. We obviously weren’t right for each other.
Now, I’m acting like a lovesick teenager with someone new I am talking to. What’s so different about this someone new I’m talking to? Well for one, he lives far, far, away. This is something I haven’t really experienced. I used to think it was a waste of time talking to someone far away like that since we couldn’t ever meet in person anyway, until I met someone I would go the distance for. I haven’t touched a man in years. I haven’t been kissed, nothing in years, with seemingly nothing in site to come, at least from my hometown. Okay, I admit that maybe one short tryst was granted access back in April, but even then, it’s nearly been a YEAR from that point, and two Junes ago before that. However, I remember it did not satisfy me. I need to pick up a new hobby so the one I think about nowadays does not constantly consume my mind. How many hobbies do I need to pick up? I have more than enough, honestly. Just ask anyone that knows me how many things I can MOTHER FUCKING do!
Someone knocks on the door to my place. I had just finally moved into a house after being in a small dinky apartment for years. The last thing I have left to achieve is being able to share my happiness with who I want to spend the rest of my life with. They always say everything will fall into place. Perhaps, I never found someone before because I didn’t have my priorities in order. Now with everything aligning once again, maybe I can finally relax with the person I have been longing for. We both had to have our priorities straight before we could spend our time together.
I open the door and there he is.
“You drove 8 to 9 hours to see me?” I pulled him inside and we give each other a great big hug, finally meeting each other for the first time in person after seeing each other lots of times on video chat. “People 15 minutes away won’t come to fucking see me.”
I used to be scared at how awkward our first meeting would be, but it’s not awkward at all. He was like a long lost friend I haven’t seen in a while and we’re catching up. I’ve met people from online before locally and it wasn’t awkward. The only difference now is this man came from a zillion miles away.
“I did, and you’re worth it and they’re stupid to not want to see you,” he looks into my eyes and plays with strands of my hair.
“And you were about to give up on me, what made you change your mind to try?”
“I just had this hunch. I was being stupid to think this wouldn’t work just because of a few states between us,” he says.
We are the same height and same size, maybe he’s an inch taller. I love that I don’t have to stand on my tippy toes to look into his eyes nor to kiss him. It’s like he’s perfect for me. I used to think I had to settle for someone tall because at the time, that person was the only one I could find who was decent enough. I say to myself, I can find someone around my height if I try. I don’t need to be miserable accepting someone really tall when I’m short stuff.
I’m amazed he came all this way and I’m playing with his face like he came out of the computer screen and teleported here.
“You look so much better in person,” he’s checking me out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I jokingly give him a hard time.
“I must correct myself. You look even more beautiful in person,” he states.
“Well, the camera and computer does add ten pounds to someone,” I laugh.
I can’t believe he’s finally here after so many months of longing for him, and so many months thinking this wasn’t worth the wait but it was. It so was.
The alarm sounds. Is it time to wake up already? I am sulking and climb out of bed ready to start the day.
My roommate Eric is sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal and looks at me as I come out of my room looking miserable as fuck.
“What the hell?” Eric looks like he wants to throw that carton of milk at me that’s next to his cereal bowl for looking so depressed all the time. “Stop doing this to yourself.”
“I know, I know. I can’t help it sometimes. I want it to work so badly with Travis but I don’t know how it will when he’s all the way over there and I’m all the way over here.”
“Maybe you should just give up and find someone else here,” Eric says.
“Well thanks a lot for the words of encouragement,” I say to him.
“Look, I know you really do like Travis and I wish it would work out with you two. I’m just trying to be realistic here.”
“Have you seen the jank men in our city?”
“Yes, and you’ll find a diamond in the rough if you try,” Eric insists.