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I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.

I plead for him to meet with me once to see what he is missing out on and he won’t set up a schedule with me.  He just keeps sitting there being depressed trying to talk to girls near him he doesn’t even like as much as he does me.  I guess I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.  Damn it!  I know he is thinking about me when he tries to talk to those new people so I keep asking him, why doesn’t he just actually talk to me instead of ignoring me?  I keep telling him just because we can’t hang out in person doesn’t mean he should ignore me like this.  We can still talk as “friends.”  Bahaha, “friends.”  No, we can never be, “just friends.”  I tell him I know he thinks about me when he tries to talk to new people because I do the same exact thing.  I always have him in the back of my mind, not wanting to move on.

I have decided I’m never going to have my own family, unless it’s with the man of my dreams.  I can move on, and I can find someone that will treat me ten times better and actually make the efforts to be with me, but it will not be with the person I will always wonder “what if we could meet in person” with.  For once in my life, I just want to have the chance of being with someone who I am head over heels for.  I’ve always given people chances in the past, only to never feel anything for them.

When people this year liked me that made the efforts to hang out, I did not give them chances of being more.  I’m out of chances, trying to force myself to like someone as more I will never like.  I need to be intensely attracted to that person first (at the same time, mutual) for it to work.

I keep hoping as time passes on, I can let my dream of having a cute little family with him go.  He doesn’t want to pursue a long distance relationship.  He doesn’t want to do what it takes to make this work.  He makes me really angry when I see people from the UK to Canada making it work.  We’re in the same freaking country, don’t have to deal with passport trouble, same time zone, and he still won’t take this opportunity.

The first day we talked and I found out he isn’t as far as we think we are from each other, I got excited that something might be able to happen.  He is so close, yet so far away.

I see my undeserving ex-best friend make a 6 hour away long distance relationship work.  He and I are only 7 and a half hours away.  I know this other girl who is engaged and soon to be married to someone from Colorado and she lives where I am.  Why can THEY make it work?  Why did I get stuck with falling for someone who doesn’t believe?  He would be so perfect for me if we had met and worked things out.

Good Reviewing Etiquette

I just thought of a good way to remind reviewers how they should type their reviews.  At the beginning of our books, we should label some sort of review reminder that attacks against the authors are not allowed.  Just saying, “If you enjoyed this book, please leave a review,” is not enough.  I think some reviewers forget THAT is actually breaking Amazon’s policy to insult authors, not having short books, etc.  It really disappoints me that most of the bullying toward me online were from adults who should know better how to act.  They weren’t born yesterday.  They clearly know Amazon doesn’t allow any kind of attacks against authors but still do it anyway, and on fake names.  Those people set a bad example for the younger generation on how to act online.  What are the adults who do this telling the kids these days if they behave that way, that it’s okay to attack somebody just because they don’t like how a person writes?  There’s a difference between critiquing someone and putting down someone.  I do have younger readers at my site as well.  My site is meant to type short stories and to give updates on my projects.  It is not meant to answer flame wars from other sites because I cannot respond there since my posts constantly get deleted.  I sincerely hope this is the last of anybody’s drama.  I really have better things to do with my time than to give people reality checks which they don’t take anyway.


When bullies are in real life: If someone is pickin’ on you at work or anywhere, don’t say anything back.  I had many times where I wanted to say something back to the girl who was saying slick stuff under her breath about me but I refrained.  I walked passed her and acted like she didn’t exist.  I reported her twice.  She got a talking to twice by my supervisors and had the nerve to get her little friends she walks with to say stuff instead of her.  I would have thought it was going to end the first time she got a talking to.  After I took it to human resources, she finally stopped.  It’s finally been peaceful and she’s been leaving me alone.  In fact, she’s been avoiding me like the plague.

Haha, she’s the one who should go out of her way to avoid me since she’s the one that wanted to start shit over nothing.  I shouldn’t have to take my time looking around whether or not I’m going to run into her because I don’t care who she is.  We bumped into each other at the vending machines yesterday, and she said nothing to me, didn’t look my way.  The day before, she kept waiting around, purposely trying to bump into me and after human resources stepped in, she now backs off.

If I were her peeps and she was telling this to her peeps, I’d be saying, “You really better stop pickin’ with that girl, she’s going to get you fired.”

Thank God she grew up!  Making the money to buy food for her three small babies at home is more important that starting drama at work.  A bully finally saw the light.

Things just keep getting funnier and funnier.

So I was told by a poster that supposedly “nobody” is interested with my self obsessed rantings, except, I’m not exactly being self obsessed.  If anything, the haters are obsessing over me and they’re calling ME self obsessed?  Right.  Whatever helps them sleep at night.  If they have to fool themselves into think I’m “unsuccessful,” whatever floats their boat.  12,000+ views on my blog sure seems like “NOBODY” is interested in my writing.  The haters say they’re not interested in my writing, and yet they keep coming to my blog!  That says a lot about them.  As I said before, my blog is for my actual readers, not nosy people.  Geez, do haters ever think before they spout stuff?  If NOBODY was interested in my writings why do I keep getting asked when my book is done?  I’ve even gotten suggestions on how I could enhance my book too with audio sound tracks and stuff like that and I constantly get emails from many readers that they enjoyed “A Restless Pursuit.”

I’m just going to let the haters spout shit because what they obviously say aren’t facts and to the bully who voted one star on my book, I keep laughing at how that guy keeps getting irritated every time someone down votes his comment, he has to make five more accounts to up vote his own account and down vote mine.  I told him, at least his down votes are genuine and not from me on ten accounts.  I’m not going to respond to the one star bully anymore.  I’ll just laugh on the sidelines how irritated he gets every time someone down votes his comment and I don’t reply.

One Star Update

With the way the past two trolls have been voting one star on my entries and creating many fake accounts, I have no doubt they are going to do that to my actual book when it comes out.  I think “God” is testing me to handle these haters in a better way than I used to handle them.  I used to respond to them all the time, still kind of am, giving them the attention they want from me, to react the way that I’m reacting.  I think when they vote one star on my actual book, I’ll just ignore it and hope someone who’s actually thoroughly read the book will make a meaningful legitimate review.  I’ve never really ignored a hater, I’ve always responded to them.  Except the girl at work, I ignored her since it was work and it wasn’t worth it to look unprofessional at work over something stupid, online, I’ve never ignored the haters.  I’m appreciative that I’ve received a better welcoming on Word Press than I have at Amazon.  Hopefully when I concentrate more on my writings rather than the haters, I’ll have a better time publishing my stories at Amazon, too.


I really honestly hope that the two negative people who left fake reviews on my short stories aren’t the only people who leave reviews.  I’d rather not have any reviews at all for my book, but I know some debbie downer is just going to put in their two cents anyway no matter how many times I’ve said I’m not going to please everybody so I don’t really care for people who have bad things to say — but they still share their bad thoughts anyway.  It’s not that I can’t handle criticism, but when those two people voted one stars, they didn’t have really good reasons to.  It was “too short” for them.  If I wrote a book I’m willing to bet those same people are going to complain my book will be “too long.”  I really need to get this book published about me and my love because I think that is what would bring me and him closer together, but with the way people do reviews so childishly and arrogantly, it’s truly a turn off.  I honestly think those reviews were made by people who I have no clue and don’t care why they dislike me for whatever reason.  It’s not an honest review, either.

They’re scaring my supporters away who would have something nice to say with the simple fact that they have 25+ fake accounts to down vote anyone.  I really thought I wrote myself in a way where people would understand why I do what I do, so I was shocked when Maven called me “troubled.”  I thought he could see I’ve been nothing but a respectful person and some how I don’t get the same in return from people yet I’m the “troubled” one?  I’m not the one picking on people.  I mind my own business and do my part in society, so I don’t understand where Maven gets me being “troubled” from when he read my true crime book?

Oh, my God!

Why do some people have comprehension issues?!?!  I saw someone had given a one star review on yet a fake name — things that my true crime short story collection talked about, people still continue to harass me leaving one star reviews on fake names!  You’ve gotta be kidding me!  With those trolls lurking my author site and arbitrarily clicking one star, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can publish my real book.  I won’t have that drama on my real book.  I thought that by putting those trolls in their places with my end all be all troll call out short story collection, they would have stopped, but some bastard still feels the need to write his two cents anyway even though I really don’t care about negative people’s thoughts they still feel the need to share it!  I mean my opening story is about someone else that did something similar to it, and it’s still going to make another account?  I’m glad people have been helping me down vote his comment.  I saw two people down voted his comment so far and I’m grateful for that.  I hope others can help me down vote his comment, too.

True Crime is now here: Free Version

I can finally put the harassment behind me.  I decided to learn how to use Smash Words to make it free and I’ve had eight downloads on it so far.  I warned those anonymous people to stop falsely reporting my posts, to stop stalking me, to stop bothering me, but they didn’t want to listen to my warnings that I knew who they were no matter how anonymous they stayed. So now, I have created a collection of short stories about all the cyber crimes they committed that they got away with, with their names attached and all.  I think some people just have to learn lessons the hard way of who not to mess with.

Free version on Smash Words: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/487890

I love writing.

I always tell my best friend, “I love writing.  I vent out no matter what’s bugging me: anonymous haters, real life stuff, anything.”  And it feels damn good in the end to vent out every last period.  I really think I’ve found my calling.  My teachers since I was very young always told me I had a creative mind and when more people keep telling me that as an adult, I’m like, “Can I really make it as a writer?”  I hope so.  I’d probably still work for someone else, too as well as write because I’d get bored sitting at home all day on the computer writing stories 24/7 and need real life interaction.

One job I had, I showed a supervisor my draft story.  The job was temporary and did not have any advancements so I was okay from being laid off in the end.  That was the first time I ever showed real life people my writing.  It was a nice story, nothing mean.  My old co-worker I still keep in touch with said, “The supervisor read your story ten times.  He really loved it.”

I’m like, wow, it was so worth it showing it to someone in real life.  If real life people and Internet readers are both telling me I’m a really good writer, then I feel it must be true.  I don’t really care for the few people that dislike what I have to write.  They’re either jealous, or don’t like the fact that I called them out for their ugly personalities.  I can’t fathom why anyone has deep hatred for me.  I respect people.  I respect relationships.  I respect my friendships and I’m humble.  Some people don’t respect ME, is the huge problem.

This is not acceptable to accept 24/7 Me Time just because I don’t have that many good people I can count on.

My Bully Book is gonna be one of the realest things I’ve ever written.

Plus my friends always tell me, “You always got something to say that’s true, too, real talk.”

Two Books

Because someone has been leaving false reviews on my mini test book and making eighty dummy accounts to down vote and trash it, I’m afraid I don’t want to publish my near and dear book to me that everyone’s been waiting for until I can resolve who is behind the harassment in the review comments on my mini test book.  I will not tolerate someone doing that to my actual book that I poured my heart and soul into.  I will not tolerate it.  Period.  I spent many evenings in my bed room crying while writing scenes and I’m not going to have heartless bastards on the Internet who have nothing better to do than to make 80 dummy accounts and down vote my book.  I’m sorry but that’s another reason why it’s been delayed my other worst fear has come true: dealing with the crazy people who have nothing to do all day but to make eight dummy accounts.  I’ve heard about them, but I never thought I’d actually deal with it myself.  I tried to make eighty to down vote their comments, but I was tired after making only three accounts.  Those people must not do anything with their lives.

Like Hale, I’m almost wanting to find out who those losers are in real life…do I have a legit reason to?  Yes, I do.  Unfortunately, I don’t know where to begin in how to track those false reviewers down.  Someone asked what would I do if I were successful in tracking those losers down?  I’d just be like I only wanted to know what you looked like that’s all.  I can’t imagine a pretty person staying inside and harassing people on the computer all day long.  The individual must be and look ugly in person, too.

I must get my story out about me being cyber bullied first.  I’m sick of people abusing the privileged of being anonymous over the Internet to harass people when being anonymous was meant for authors/writers to write different genres.


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